Don’t be scared to love

HeartsTo love is a simple thing, yet so often it comes with ties, hooks, demands, expectations. It can be suffocating instead of freeing.

But, I want to say: Give love a chance.

Don’t be scared of love.

I know that is an easy thing to say, because I know so many people have been hurt, not so much by love, as by not receiving love, or by having love taken away, or withdrawn.

As a parent I find it unfathomable that a child should not know they are unconditionally loved. They should be hugged, cherished, nurtured, so that they always know they are so wonderfully loved—yet at the same time taught ethics, morals, respect—and taught to know their worth and value. If we don’t, we risk raising hurt children, which then become hurt adults. A child who is not loved, does not learn how to truly love, and if they do learn how to love, then they can often have difficulty accepting love, for they do not feel worthy of it.

Love is worth a risk. Yes, we may get hurt, but, which is worse, missing out because we were scared and wondering what we could have had, or risking it all, and experiencing something truly beautiful? If we get hurt, we get hurt, but I would rather live with the hurt, learn and heal from it, than live with regrets. Yet, so often, people are so scared of getting hurt, that they cannot bring themself to take the chance. They think of all the things that could go wrong, and they run. Or they make all sorts of excuses, and then feel alone in their life.

But …

Sometimes it is worth risking everything and finding that the love you could not find for yourself exists within the eyes and heart of another, and that we can find the key in them to unlock it within ourself. That another can love us so well that we grow to feel worthy of that love, that we heal, that we open up to that love, maybe slowly at first, and then more and more, until we are fully open to being loved, and all of our fears fall away, and our pain falls off like dust, and we feel ourself shine … we feel our heart shine and glow more fully than it ever has. We experience a love so deep and pure, no conditions, no demands, no ties, no bonds, just the most beautiful love … and we are forever changed. We cannot go back to who we were, for true love is true alchemy.

In another we find, and we feel ‘home’. It is as if we have known them for eons—and we probably have!

So, yes it is worth the risk.

Life is not about success, riches, awards, possessions. Life is about people, life is about relationships. If you ignore your relationship, you may look up one day and find it is gone, through neglect. Don’t take relationships for granted.

People, and relationships, should always be a priority. Yes, jobs have to be done, careers worked at, chores done, fitness classes taken, and there may not be much time left over, but it is not quantity, it is quality. If you come home after a long day, and a workout at the gym, you can still sit down with your partner, and share time, talk, eat, laugh, discuss your day, be interested in their life. And if you don’t have a partner, but are in a relationship, you can meet them for coffee or a meal, or call them and talk, perhaps as you sit down with a well earned cup of tea, or coffee. Be interested in their life, be supportive, be caring, let them know they are important to you, let them show you are important to them. Nourish the relationship.

Yes, sometimes relationships fall apart, they end. Tough as that might be, don’t let it stop you opening up to the possibility of another. And even if you feel they were ‘the one’ and you just don’t feel there will ever be another, then open up to loving yourself. Make your life beautiful, and love who you are. The best relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. Take care of your friends, be there for them, and be kind to people. Don’t lament the lack of a partner, simply live your life, and have beautiful relationships with the people in your life.

Love should be unconditional. No demands. No hoops to jump through. No judgement and criticism. No hurtful words.

Love is a beautiful thing. To love another is a beautiful thing. It does not matter whether that ‘another’ is a person, or whether it is simply the whole world … to love is a beautiful thing.

Don’t be scared of it. And don’t put excuses in the way.

Love is magic. Love is alchemy. Love, true and deep love, will change you.

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