My crisis of faith.
As a child I went to church, but church never brought me close to God.
I started a spiritual journey as an adult, and that did bring me closer to God. The journey that churches were so against seemed to be doing what the church could not.
But … even after many years … I still did not have the connection I wanted.
I have heard God speak to me, when I have been deeply troubled. I have felt His/Her love. I have given up my worries to Him/Her when I did not know what to do.
But. … still … the closeness I wanted, the … oneness … seemed always out of reach.
During this ‘self-isolation’ period of time, due to the Corona Virus, I thought it would be great to be able to devote myself to my alignment with Source Energy/Universal Consciousness/God, and to work on raising my vibration—knowing that vibration is the key to accessing higher consciousness.
But … still … that closeness, that oneness that I wanted … evaded me.
I have, instead, reached what I can only call a crisis of faith.
My spiritual community has been posting lots of stuff on Facebook, (all in an effort to help people I am sure), and it has only added to my crisis as there are so many different things, different ‘truths’ and some blatant ‘untruths’, made up stuff, and stuff driven by ego. I have felt it all push me further and further away.
And yet … there was one thing that was there … one thing that was so beautiful and so inspiring … one thing so profound and beautiful. My Christian Aunt’s faith in God. She had told me once that God had not once let her down. Her faith is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
I had come right round again … to God … to me seeking God … or was God seeking me? Were we seeking each other? Was I the lost lamb trying to find my way home?
In my crisis of faith, I knew that the one thing I needed was: Faith. Faith in Source/God … But there seemed to be so much between me and that. So I asked Source for help, and held the faith that the answers would come.
This morning I finally understood how to come into that closeness, that oneness that I sought … and it is very simple, and I guess it applies to everyone, not just to me.
Whatever it is I believe Source/God to be, be that.
If I believe that Source/God is kind, then be kind.
If I believe that Source/God loves all people, then love all people.
If I believe that Source/God loves all the animals, then love all the animals.
If I believe that Source/God takes great delight in the beauty of Earth, then take great delight in the beauty of Earth.
If I believe that Source/God is compassionate, then be compassionate.
If I believe that Source/God is gentle, then be gentle.
If I believe that Source/God does not judge, then do not judge.
If I believe that Source/God is serene, then be serene.
If I believe that Source/God is joyous, then be joyous.
If I believe that Source/God is patient, then be patient.
If I believe that Source/God has no ego, then have no ego.
If I believe that Source/God is always with me, my Divine spark being a part of Him/Her, then honour that spark, love it, cherish it, revere it, nourish it, be it.
Everything that I believe Source/God to be … be that.
And finally … I have found my way … I have entered the intimate conversation with the Divine, with Source/God. I have found my faith.
And Source tells me “Trust in me.”