Though it is a difficult concept it is a possible concept … to let go of what we think we are, and allow the fullness, the wholeness of who we are step forth.
But how?
If I am more than this person living a lifetime, how do I let go of that identity, how do I let go of the obsession of that identity? Afterall, I really like who I am!
It begins with .. simply knowing that if I like this person living the lifetime, then imagine how much more I will love the wholeness of her.
If I love who I am, as Robyn, then I am already understanding the most important level of myself, that of love.
If I did not like myself, then I cannot possibly seek the wholeness of myself. If I do not like who I am here in this lifetime … then that is where I need to begin.
Why do I not like myself?
What is it about myself that I do not like?
What is it about myself I would like to change, to work on?
Why do I compare myself to others?
Why do I want to fit in to social groups?
Why am I not comfortable in my own company?
Why do I not like my body?
Why do I eat so much, drink alcohol, take drugs?
What it is about myself I am trying to anaesthetize?
What trauma am I avoiding?
What do I need to do to love myself again?
There are so many question, there are so many things we may not like about ourselves.
But the thing is, you are here now, in this moment. You are alive. You are here. That which has happened to you can do one of three things: it can destroy you, it can damage you, or it can make you stronger.
Yes, we have to look deep into it to find out how we can use that to make ourself stronger.
Yes we have a choice over: does this define me, or it is something that happened?
Am I in survival mode?
What do I need to do to get out of survival mode?
There is a lot of work to do to get to loving yourself, but the first and most important things you need to know is this: you are lovable, and you ARE LOVED by the very cosmos you live within. You are loved by the wind and the rain, the sun and the clouds, the leaf and the flower. You are loved by the dirt beneath your feel, by the grim on your skin, by the wounds that have healed.
And when you begin to touch that love, to feel it … then you have begun the journey.
That which has happened must be left behind, in the past. The path you are stepping upon allows no baggage, just you, walking and accepting that you are loved.
Respect nature and spend time in nature, allow yourself to feel that love and acceptance and respect from all of life around you.
Exercise, walk, run, bike, whatever, but feel that body moving. Feel the muscles feel the body gliding as you walk, feel the movement, feel the bike flowing over the land, feel the increase in your strength, and the calming of your mind.
When I cycle, I am cycling … I am feeling my body and the bike, moving as one. Zen cycling. And when I decide to put the power on and go for it, I do and I rejoice in the work of the body, I rejoice in the speed, and the fatigue of my muscles. When I get home I rejoice in the completion. I did it! I pushed myself, I did not just cruise and put in no effort. I love cycling. I love all things that I do no matter how tiring, because that is my choice. To love all that I do, even when I am cleaning the toilet.
To live and love what you do is a choice that we reach. It is a choice that is offered, unspoken, unannounced, both offered nonetheless.
And when that love is rising, when you feel that warmth begin and its presence felt … you will never forget it. You will never forget what it feels like. But the certain rule is that it cannot rely on any person, being, event or outcome. It must simply be there. If it relies on another person it is not yours to own, it is a bargaining chip, a negotiation. You have to love you for you. Yes, you will trip up, and you will get right back up again and take another step forward.
There are days I completely muck things up, and I acknowledge that to myself, I do not make excuses, I own it and I think about how I could have done better, so that I can grow from that experience.
So … to love oneself is the first step on the journey of understanding the possibility of living as the wholeness of you.
If I am to live as the wholeness of me then it is vitally important that I release my default way of living each day, that I leave it in the past, and that I take a new and fresh step, on a new and fresh path … back to the wholeness of me.
Yes, the world situation makes that challenging … but consider that that is the purpose of the world situation, to prevent you changing, to keep you in anger, annoyance, frustration, disappointment, rage, fury, fear, grief. Look at all that is happening and ask yourself “Where is the love?”
Oh it is there all right, it is everywhere, but you are distracted.
So …. Step back … close your eyes … still your thoughts … take a deep breath in and then let it out slowly.
Allowing the mind to still is a skill … it is not impossible—no matter what people try to tell themselves. It is merely the finding of the way that works best for you. For me, I can still my mind whenever I want to, because I have developed the skill.
I can still the mind, feel the love that I am—that I know I am without doubt.
To live as the wholeness of me? I am working on that. I am learning, uncovering, finding a new way of living.
What would it be like to live as the Wholeness of Me? I don’t know. Honestly I don’t … but what I have discovered is that each step on this journey is more beautiful than the previous step, that every step is towards living as the Wholeness of Me.