Self observation

I observe myself daily … In fact, I observe myself as often as I can.

When walking my dog, Axel, I observe how I am feeling. Am I calm, am I getting irritated because he is pulling on the lead? Oh … I am feeling irritated. Mmmm, how can I best handle this? Be calm, relaxed, peaceful. Okay, feel that, relax, continue to walk. He pulls, we stop, I wait for him to stop pulling, but I wait peacefully. He stops pulling, and then we carry on. Or, am I really enjoying this walk and he is behaving so well, and I feel my heart so full of happiness? This is joyous. What a beautiful day. Look at those lovely blossoms. Oh my gosh what a lovely flowering rhododendron!

Checking in as often as I can, with full awareness that I can change my mood. How? Change my focus.

Self observation is also important to understand where my ‘triggers’ are, what kind of things upset me. Do I feel hurt when someone ignores me? Do I feel scared when someone is angry at me? Do I feel rejected when no one seems to want to make time for me? Do I feel confident when I sit to write and the words flow from my heart and Soul with such ease and grace? When I am sitting on the floor with the cat and the dogs, how am I feeling? Am I peaceful or am I thinking about the things I should be doing? In which case, be present where I am, and fully appreciative of what I am doing. Do I need the appreciation and validation of another to feel appreciated and validated? If so, why? Look at myself, I am doing a good job, and I am a good person, and so I do not need another to validate me. I check my own behaviour and I validate that behaviour, or I change that behaviour.

Do I get upset at the prospect of having to say ‘no’, does that make me uncomfortable? Do I feel like I should fit in with what other people want? Do I find it hard to say ‘actually I just want to stay home and relax’? Do I find it hard to explain why without feeling cruel and selfish?

The fact is I am never home alone, there are others in my home, and the animals, and music, and aromas, and my connection with Source Energy, and so times with all of that is important to me, vital to me. Why is it I find it hard to say that?

In my constant checking in on myself, and my desire to be in alignment as often as possible, I feel more at peace. This moment is all I have. This moment. Other moments have already passed, and other moments have not arrived yet, but this moment …. This is all I have. And so, make this moment the most beautiful moment possible.

I have also learnt to do another thing, and this was an inspiration given to me as I was writing one evening.

At the end of each day
I thank myself for how well I have done
I thank myself for my patience
I thank myself for kindness to myself and to others
I thank myself for appreciating the things around me
I thank myself for preparing nourishing food for myself
I thank myself for taking good care of my finances
I thank myself for cleaning my house
I thank myself for watering the lawn
I thank myself for doing the dishes
I thank myself for making time for my loved ones
I thank myself for sharing my love
I thank myself for caring about other people
I thank myself for taking good care of my body
I thank myself for my compassion
I thank myself for working hard
I thank myself for making time to rest
I thank myself for embracing my own value

This is going to be my daily talk to myself at the end of each day. I will go to bed in a state of appreciation for myself.

Self checking has become a habit for me. Knowing I can change my mood is a tool that I can now use with ease.

I still get hit by waves of sadness, lonelineless, anixety, worry, but I have learned how to shift that and move into a peaceful state of alignment.

I have a faith, in Source Energy, that reassures me. I am an expression of that energy … and that energy is creative. So … I do my best to create a beautiful life. Hopefully that beauty will wash over and help to fill more and more of the land and energy around me … hopefully the more of us that do this, the more that energy washes through the world until we, collectively, create a world of beauty, gratitude, enjoyment, appreciation, and love.